Womb Wellness | Clearing & Integrating: Preparing for Pregnancy
Techniques of wild-crafted energetics for the awakened woman. A real-life sharing of some of the work I did to have a healthy womb and genetic patterning prior to becoming pregnant with my son.
TW: SA & Womb/Land Held Trauma
Growing up, I had always known 2 things in life:
1.) I wanted to be a mother
2.) I wanted to heal people
Early on, I suffered from sexual abuse as a child. This was something I carried with me for years. I spent the majority of my childhood trying to heal within me what had been broken. Sometimes, finding a key that helped unlock further exploration and deeper truths. When we experience any traumatic event in life, the body remembers. Deep within the fascia and cells of the womb space specifically, there will lie generations of stories. The parts that often feel the most powerful are often the heaviest - the stories we don’t want to remember or retell - spaces where we feel a dark, sludgy compound that’s been denying us our true spirit's light. This can show up in many ways, including: limiting beliefs, generational trauma and toxic societal conditioning.
There is no quick & easy way out. But there is a path - undiscovered by many - where we can choose to reclaim our power and heal the wounds within. To do so, we must first look at the pain, acknowledge it and then choose to embody a healed version of self for the future.
As women everything we do, see, experience is processed through the womb. It’s the area that we birth everything from - literally and figuratively. Nothing can be experienced without passing through the womb. Whether that be by way of conception, expansion or even the truths we pass down through our genetic lineages. To connect with it is an innate right. I’m sharing some of my journey on the path of creating an intentional physical and energetic womb space filled with love and light codes. This is done so in the hopes of normalizing a seemingly radical idea.
Clearing old energy from the womb space was something I felt called to do for years prior to welcoming my first Spirit Child. The process began when I decided to become connected to my body in deeper ways. This presented itself through practices like yoga, breathwork & flexing my intuitive muscle via Tarot Readings in my teens. I expanded into working with crystalline vibrations and energy work when I was attuned to Reiki. And then… I waited. I let my body fully alchemize the changes. Ultimately, I ended up on a Womb Healing retreat in Sedona. In what I now lovingly call the Womb Chakra of the U.S., I experienced what can only be known as profound, mystical healings.
Arizona and her waking energy changed my life forever. Following a guided meditation to explore our Wombs, I felt a deep, bodily urge to step outside and breathe in the January air. As I walked barefoot onto the orange, rock-slabbed patio, the wind gushed through my fleece and brushed my skin with goosebumps. I breathed in deeply, allowing the culminating energy to circulate and flow through my body from head to toe. I knew that I was here to witness and experience. I had previously called in my Spirit Team (Higher Self, Guides & Ancestors), but was also told to ask that the Spirits of Sedona herself join me in this practice-to-come. As I came closer to the edge of the valley, I looked over the expansive wild of this land. Taking in her beauty and grace. Noticing the ways the landscape seemed barren. Like she was scrapped clean - exactly as I had felt when during a cervical examination, a sample was taken without much more than a “I’m going to do ___” from my Doctor at the time. I remember walking through the rest of that day crying because I could feel how a piece of me was ripped away. Made worse by the fact that I hadn’t truly consented & this was done to me by a woman I was learning to trust beforehand. I know I am not alone in these experiences. Many places on this wonderful planet experience similar reapings. As we are in all of our humanness meant to feel deeply and learn many lessons through our Mother Earth, I believe we reach certain lands to become acquainted with its specific magic when we are at a similar vibrational frequency.
As the moments before release built up, I was shown visions of what my Ancestors had incurred. The abuse & trauma that had wracked itself up in my DNA and been passed down to each child - male or female - born through this lineage. I was also shown the immense freedom we felt in the times when our island was ours alone. A flourishing landscape filled with magic overflowing from its core essence. I was shown the way Mother Earth could feel - when she was lovingly cultivated and cared for by her children. How our presence can bring peace and healing to Her Lands. I breathed in deeply, held my body in a tight hug and as I released my arms from around my torso, let out a satisfied sigh-turned-ecstatic laugh that built up and echoed from the hills around me. Reverberating back to my body all that I had felt, but in a new light: the distinct hope that I could reshape my ancestral lineage’s future. In the passing moments, I was guided to go back into that space where I could see and feel more than this lifetime’s experiences alone. This time, I was joined by the distinct presence of the Spirits of the Land. Those who had roamed and discovered Sedona’s heart-scape. Who had decided to make her home. Raising generations of protectors and cultivators of the land. Folk who held deep reverence for the Native Sedona Land in all her beauty and mysticism. They guided me to open specific channels in my body and allow the feelings to flow through, be processed and released by my womb-space. I accepted and gripped onto the nearby railing, grounding into the rooted energy of the Juniper Tree that had been my silent companion. The images and feelings coursed through me. I saw the descent of Others on their land. How they lied, smiles curled into cruel cunning as they took whatever they pleased with greedy hearts. The raping, pillaging of the Land and Her People. The subsequent trauma that flowed through generations. Shame, hate, fear coursed deeply through their veins. A community of people who had lived in deep communion with Sedona had experienced a reaping. This loss of connection damaged several portals of magic within the Earth herself. All of these realizations hit me in what felt like mere minutes. Left my body shaky, breathless. I called upon the full strength of both my Ancestors and the Land’s Ancestors. Asked that they be with me and help me move this energy back to the Land - to transmute it into something more profound than words can understand. Transmuting the pain into strength, resolve. Bringing that determined energy into love and finally allowing the Old Magic to return to the lineages. I tapped in and used my Higher Self’s knowledge of Energetic Transmutation to move the dark, gray ball of energy through my womb-space and birthed it out and into the open air. Quickly taking its’ essence out and infusing it with a light so ancient and strong in its birth rite that the energy shift was magnetizing. The colors, shapes and feelings of this energy had shifted through the Arch of Healing into its true form: loving intention and powerful magical energy. I took what was meant to stay within my lineage and infused the light-body back into my energy fields. Immediately, I felt a rejuvenating, weight-lifting energy course through my body. I knew I had done something profound for my lineage. That we had simultaneously healed our past, cast light onto the darkness of what had been passed down and changed its course into one of Higher Timelines. And then I did the same for Sedona and Her People. Opening my eyes, rays of new morning light peaked over the house behind me and cast an ethereal glow upon the valley. The trees looked more vivid. The previously quiet birds began to sing their songs with fervor. It was as if Mother Earth was personally thanking me. A smile stuck on my face and glimmered through my skin for the rest of the day. This is what clearing old wounds/patterning and transmitting energy through light codes looks and feels like.
A Soul Mission of mine was revealed through the unique experience that Sedona provided me. To share my stories, help other realize their power and to shift the paths of the Lineages of the Earth. It’s why I have decided to speak on this story now. Years have passed and still, the energy of this experience clings to my cells. Reminded me of what we’re capable of when we choose to see, feel and heal the wounds of the past. I took these practices and continued to apply them to my womb healing and light code-embodied journey of calling in my Spirit Children. I had continued to clear energies from my womb, but mostly I was guided to work on limiting beliefs and bringing in their opposite, Higher Beliefs, to my mind and body. I released shame, anger, fear and so much more. Felt the vibration of the Higher Truths and Light Language and infused them into my body via breathwork, movement and energy work.
When we heal ourselves, we heal our Ancestral Lineage backwards and forwards simultaneously.
My son was born free. Of the pain that generations of molestation - a curse cast upon my first Puerto Rican Ancestor for the fact that her magic was fearfully revered. Of the shame I had carried for this and other experiences around my essence. Free to craft his own future. To feel into the light that his body holds and use this as a springboard into the future to do his work - whatever that may look like. In utero, my sweet boy absorbed only light, wholeness from my cellular DNA. The spaces by which fear and trauma had previously reigned supreme were now filled with the undeniable power of love and magic.